Uvva books in the Top Ten series

                               ‘Uvva books in the Top Ten Series’

·‘Nick’s top ten tips on DIY’…………..A comprehensive look into the do’s and don’ts of Britain’s favourite pastime. Nick’s advice is simple, don’t fackin’ do it, you are takin’ the bread out of the mouths of professionals.

·‘Nick’s top ten tips on caring for the environment’………..Fack it, let the green welly brigade look after it.

·‘Nick’s top ten tips on fashion’…………..Ultimate makeovers which should take ten years offa yoa your boat race. Including an intro by Lorraine fuckin’ Kellee.  

·‘Nick’s top ten fishin’ trips’……………Travel the world as Nick catches record breaking fish: the wild salmon of the Rio Negra in Chile, the lightening bonefish of the Caribbean, giant perch of the Sudan and monster catfish of the Soane.  Tackle, gear, bait an’ complete organised trips can all be purchased on line @ www.catchafishwivnick.com

·‘Nick’s top ten ways of making Wonga’…………..an exciting assortment of opportunities to make a fortune. These include, smuggling fags, booze an’ Viagra, fencing liberated goods, false insurance claims, pretending wot you are not an’ workin yoa bollox off.

·‘Nick’s top ten Cockney mates’……………….these include, Michael Caine, Jamie Oliva, J Kay, David Bowie, Guy Richie an’ ‘is bird, Mad Frankie Frazer, Anthony fackin’ Newley, Norman the Nonce, an’ many moa. Wiv ingratiatin’ intros by Joe Braan an’ Nigel Kennedy.

·‘Nick’s top ten ways of Shaggin’ birds’…………….Methodology drawn from all over the world. Indian, Thai, Tantric, Inuit, out of it, one bag, two bag, frees up. This volume comes with easy to follow diagrams, genuine colour photographs and a DVD which includes foateen minits of out takes.