Endowsments

  Without awl of mi mates I could not 'ave written mi book   

                                                   Endowsments   

Delia Smiff

Nick has definitely surpassed himself with these jewels wot he has sorted from all over the world. Using the finest ingredients, simple effective techniques, using clear concise language and possessing an astute grasp of what constitutes ‘good wholesome food’ he has created a timeless classic that hits the mark on every level. From the meekest most humble housewife to the most arrogant, self opinionated, excruciatingly over promoted Michelin starred chef his recipes should become an essential element of any kitchen. This volume is the ultimate ‘Kitchen Bible’. He is without a doubt a creative genius transforming the mundane into the exceptional. Nick is a rare find who can justifiably claim his rightful place alongside Fanny Craddock, Mrs Beeton and my self. He’s a great shag as well.

Come on lets be ‘avin’ you,  

All my love, Delia.  

Jamie Oliva.

I fink that Nick is loads moa wicked than wot I is. His recipes are just the tops an’ I regard ‘im ‘as a reel mate.Ee's a geeza  

Rock on, Jamie an’ Jools

Gordon fackin’ Ramsee 

I think that this cockney twat might just have something. He has obviously robbed most of my provincial basic recipes but given them a slight perverse twist. His love of fresh, home grown foodstuffs is admirable, an opinion that is not always shared by my colleagues, who probably feel that they have a more credible fuckin’ reputation but who constantly use products from fuckin’ supermarkets. Nick has a simple refreshing approach and sensibly avoids trying to be clever with ‘parcels, wrapped, steamed and roasted’, ‘marinades of lemon juice, garlic ginger and peppered chillies’,  ‘crushing, cracking, pureeing, vapuring’. He rarely uses terms such as, en cuit, a la fuckin’ dente, en gout, radical, wicked, as easy as fuckin’ that or ‘fuckin’ marvellous’. The food, the man and the passion scream out from all of his recipes

Thankfully, the only birds that Nick stuffs are his girlfriends.

All the fuckin’ best Gordon  

The Torygraaph

Such a refreshing change from the complications of the ‘exact science’, chemistry and training that has become dull and passé. Nick’s simplistic approach will blow vast holes in centuries of accepted procedures. Cast out the scales, measuring implements, temperature controls and timing. Undress, reveal and expose the myths. Enjoy the kitchen once more with Nick guiding your schway. Gestalt.

Hermoine Parker Richardson.

Intro

This is the basic intro to mi book.

Intro

What I ‘ave attempted to do wiv awl of these recipes is make it simpul, especially for awl of them fick sods in the norf. I ‘ave gavered ingredienz from awl ova the world an’ I been usin’ only the best produce to create ‘elfi food. The stuff ‘as mainly come from mi mates what inhabit evri cawnna of the globe. I imports the best spices from India, chillis from Mexico an’ pawn from Tieland. Onli the freshist vege from Europe goes into my meels; tomatas an’ olive oil from Italy, peppas, mushroomz an’ ‘erbs from Fraance, sausages, cabbige an’ moa pawn from Germany, an’ laastly, I gets mi   spudsz from Jersee. I gets noffink from Holland, Belgium Scandinavia an’ Spain becawse its awl shite. Pigs, beef an’ chickens is awl provided by mi mates who as organic, natural farms where the animals as a ‘top life’ befoa they are slawtered. Wet fish an’ crustacions comes from Billingsgate, the premier pisscatorial wholesale establishment of England, by way of Codfish Colin, the onli livin’ man who is fird generation man an’ boy daan the market.

I ‘ave chosen mi favorit meels from awl ova the world foa you to make an’ enjoy. If you make a bawls of ‘em the first time, you must be a right muppet oa a norverner, but don’t worry an’ ‘ave anuvva try next week. Sweet.  
I shall also be postin' some videos, in the near future!!!