Frida Khalo

Aftershave and deodorants. I must say that I ‘ave fallin’ in love wiv Beckhams noo range of scent. Beck’s ‘Nob’, Victoria’s ‘Chuff’, eau de Coley an’ ‘Front’ are frankly irresistible. Mind you, the classic Rabanne, Gucci, Lacroix are real minge magnets.  

Something you would not throw away. My address book

Favourit piece of Artwork. I loves that bloke wiv the big arms standin’ on top of that hill just befoa Noocaastle, them naked iron fellas up to their knees in the mud of the Mersey estuary, loads of stuff by that geeza who cut off ‘is ear when ‘ee was mental, that Mexican bird wiv one giant eyebrow an’ who was ‘eld togevva wiv stainless steel, that Spanish rascal who was the first to put his bird’s nose where her ear should be an’ of course Leonardo ‘cawse ‘ee was openly gay.   

Favourit songwriters. In the early days I used to love Lonnie but I soon shiftid ova to Cliff, Barry and George becawse their songs are poignant, upliftin’ but butch at the same time.  

Tom Soop

Rich Tomata soop

 

Ingredienz

Imperial (English)                                              Metric (Diego)

Too laarge onions                                                2 Spanish onions

Tablespoon of oil, sawlt, peppa                           15 ml of olive oil, salt, black pepper

One an’ arf pints of chickin stock                        750mls of homemade chicken stock

One paand of Italian plum toms                           550grms of Italian plum tomatoes

One paand of ripe English toms                           550grms of vine ripened tomatoes

Free ounzes of sun dried toms                              75grms of soaked sun dried tomatoes

Too ounzes of dried cepe mushrooms                  50grms of dried forestier mushrooms

One carrot                                                             1 medium sized carrot

One potata                                                             1 medium sized potato

Teespoon of Worcester sawse                               5ml of Worcesterhire sauce

Teespoon of English mustard                                5ml of Dijon mustard

A pinch of dried chillies                                        A pinch of dried chillies

A squirt of Tomata puree                                       25ml of tomato puree

A ‘andful of choppt parsley                                   A bunch of flat leaved parsley

A dollop of fresh creem                                         A 50ml pot of fresh single cream

Chop oa tear the sun dried tomatas an’ cepe mushrooms ‘an soak ‘em in warm wautta foa at least free ‘ours. Finely chop the onions an’ add to the oil on a low ‘eat. Allow the onions to braan an’ soak up most of the oil. Peel an’ dice bowff the carrot an’ the spud an’ add to the mix.

To peel the fresh tomatas  you needs to place them in boilin’ wautta until the skin splits, take ‘em out an’ carefully peel. If a fawk is stabbed in the tom you ‘ave less chaance of burnin’ yoa bloody ‘ands orf. When they are cool you can cut ‘em in arf an’ deseed usin’ a teaspoon. Chop an’ add to the mix, stirrin’ steadily so that awl the ingredienz are soakin’ up the remainin’ bit of oil. Grind in some black peppa.

In a cup mix the puree, mustard, Worcester sawse an’ dried chillies. Top up the cup by addin’ some of the chicken stock, mix into a single creem consistency then stir it in to the pot.

Poa in the remainin’ stock, the sun dried toms an’ the cepes, wiv their juices, an simma foa firty minutes until awl of vegetables are soft. Take the pot off the ‘eat an’ add arf of the choppt parsley. When the mixture is cool enuff use a ‘and blenda to produce a fick milky consistency. Add moa stock if you prefer a finna soop an’ then sawlt to taste.

To serve, add a dollop of fresh cream an’ dress wiv some choppt parsley. Wiv the chillies, Worcester an’ mustard the soop ‘as a slight piquaance that I prefer, but if you are not ‘appy wiv the sharpness just leave out the dried chillies. The perfect compliment to this dish is my ‘omemade rustic crusty bread an’ a bokkle of mi favrit Premier Cru Sancerre.