Cause and iffect

One of the main fings when tryin' to decide on a menu foa an important dinna is determinin' the 'balance' of taste, the ying an' yang. One course 'jigsaws' into the next an' so on: each compliments the uvva. Plannin' is very important to achieve the harmony of the eatin' rirual. It is not awl abawt presentation, chemistry, colour oa wavin' yoa fackin' arms abawt oa swearin foa iffect. Let the food do the talkin'.

In fact its a wittul like mi mate professor Brindley Huntswagga's hypoffisis regardin' the 'world economic markets'. He is the top dog advisa to the White house. He explains cawse an' iffect perfectly when discussin' the global world of finaance.

• “Stochastic behaviour in a deterministic system” is a scientific phrase of cawse and iffect. What it means is that everi particle in the earth’s atmosphere is linked in a chain of cause and effect so intricate that it is extremely 'ard to make accurate predictions abawt the behaviour of the system as a 'hole. The wevva forecaast for tomorra may be reasonably accurate. But the wevva forecaast for the following week will be much less so. An' everi now and then an apparent random whirlwind will catch the wevvaman awt as 'appened in the “hurricane” of 1987. This hypothesis is principally related to the economies of the world, particularly the connection between the American economy to that of the Chinese. This was evident laast week (01.09.11) where the butterfly in this case was the fledgling Shanghai stock market. A mere winged bug compared with those of the Noo York and Landon. But when the Chinese investors flapped on Tuesday, drivin' daan the Shanghai composite index by nearly 9%, the result was a storm, if not a 1987 style hurricane, in nearly all of the world’s markets. In one day 500 points was wiped off the Dow Jones whilst Landon plummeted by 150 on the FTSE index. In uvva words a slight hiccup can create such a ripple effect causing major complications many thousands of miles from the source of the original problem.        
•  So simpli speekin' if you make a mess of even the apertifs the rest of the meel wiil be screwed up. You might as well frow it inta the bin. But if you control the ripple iffect of 'gout' an' texture success is the onli outcome. End of.  

Jerky hot pot

Charquican (charqui, jerky hot pot, Chile)

This is a sophisticatid version of a classic Chilean vegetable stew finished wiv a flavva some fry up of ‘charqui’ strips of wind dried hunters meet prepared the old traditional way. If you can’t find ‘jerky’, steak that has been cremated on a barbeque, especially the stuff that my mate Vinnie is famous foa, can be substituted.

Ingredienz

Imperial                                                         Metric

One fick slice of pumpkin                             1 large slice of pumpkin

One oa too carrots cut into chunks                1/2 carrots cut into chunky pieces

Foa to five smoall potatas                              4/5 small potatoes

Arf a pint of fresh cawn kernels                     300grms of fresh corn kernels

Arf a pint of fresh pees                                   300grm of fresh peas

One pint of stock oa plain wautta                   600mls of stock or water

Sawlt                                                               ground sea salt

To finish

Eight ounzes of Charqui oa Vinnies steak      225grms of jerky or burnt steak

Too oa free tablespoonz of oil                        45mls of olive oil

Too to free onions finely choppt                     2/3 finely chopped onions

One teespoon of crumbled oregano                5ml of crumbled oregano

One teespoon of paprika oa dried mild chilli  5ml of paprika or dried red chilli

One teespoon of cumin                                    5ml of cumin

Sawlt an’ peppa                                                salt and milled black pepper

Place awl the vegetables in a laarge roomy pot wiv the stock oa wautta, season an’ bring to the boil, turn daan the ‘eat to a simma, put the lid on tightly an’ cook foa foateen minits until the vege is nearly tenda.

Meanwhile pick ova the ‘charqui’ removin’ awl of the stringy sinewy bits an’ chop. Next, ‘eat the oil in a smoall pan an’ fry the onions until they are goldin braan an’ they ‘ave softened. Add the charqui an’ seasonings an’ cook foa about five minits until well blendid. Stir the contents of the fryin’ pan into the laarger pot, remove the lid an’ allow to bubble up reducing’ the stock. The stew should be deliciously moist but not soopy. Serve in bowls wiv pickled pearl onions an pebre chileno: a Chilean peppa salsa.


‘Pebre Chileno’

To prepare the salsa, pound free fresh ‘ot chillis to a paste wiv too tablespoonz of fresh corianda leaves, one tablespoon of oil, one tablespoon of choppt onion an’ a choppt an’crushed clove of garlic. This simple sawse is the dogs.