Desserts, sweets, puddin's

 

Desserts, Sweets, Puddin’ an’ bread.

Jam Roly Poly

Ingredienz.

Imperial (English)                                                Metric (foreign)

Foa ounzes of self raisin’ flowa                             100grms of self raising flour

Two ounzes of Bob’s shredded beef suet               50grmsof shredded beef suet

Two to free tablespoonz of wautta                          2 or 3 15ml spoons of water

Foa the jam

One paand of strawbs                                             500grms of strawberries

‘arf a pint of wautta                                                250mls of water

One stick of cinnamon                                            1 stick of cinnamon

The zest an’ juice of yoa ‘ome grown lemon          the zest and juice from a lemon

One tablespoon of Cassis                                        1x15ml spoon of Cassis

Two to free tablespoonz of braan shugga               1or 2x15ml spoons of Demerara

Foa the custard

Two eggs from yoa own farm                                 2 free range eggs

One ounz of caasta shugga                                      25grms of caster sugar

Arf a pint of milk                                                     250mls of milk

One vanilla pod                                                        1 vanilla pod

This is the dog’s when it comes to a warming winta pud. It’s a piece of piss to make but it can take a lotta time becawse of the steamin’. I awlways usis proppa suet from

Bob an’ mi own ‘omemade jam. This dish is best served wiv ‘ot oa cold custard, again ‘omemade.

Siv foa ounzes of self raisin’ flowa an’ a pinch of sawlt into a mixin’ bowl, add two ounzes of Bob’s shredded beef suet. Stir in two to free tablespoonz of ‘ot water an’ mix into a dough. Lift from the bowl an ‘knead on a flowered boad until awl the ingredienz is smoove. Roll awt  an ‘oblong abawt a quawta of an inch fick.

‘omemade jam.

It aint rocket science to make yoa own jam so don’t freek like a tart. Onli use seasonal fruits, often bruised  an’ soft ones can produce top resultz. Slowli an’ gentli reduce daan the selected fruit (strawbs foa examlpul) wiv foa table spoonz of liquor. This you shouldda prepared earlier an’ consists of arf a pint of wautta, a cinnamon stick, zest an’ juice of a lemon, from yoa own tree, a tablespoon of cassis an’ two laarge tablespoonz of Demerara shugga.  As the consistency of the mixture becomes fick add moa shugga. Whilst the jam is still ‘ot poa into a kilner jar an’ allow to cool. It’s that easy, even a norvern bird could make it. 

  

Proppa custard.

Beat up two eggs wiv one ounze of caasta shugga. Ova a ‘Ban Marie’ carefully an’ slowly add arf a pint of warm milk that ‘as been previously infused wiv a vanilla pod, stirrin’ awl the time until the shugga ‘as dissolved. When creamy an’ smoove covva wiv cling film an’ place in the fridge until you needs to serve. You can ‘ave it ‘ot oa cold.

Returning to the recipe, you can now spread foa ounzes of ‘omemade jam ova the dough an’ roll up sealin’ the edges wiv a wittle wautta. Wrap loosely in greaseproof or buttered tin foil placin’ on the top of a steama filled wiv boiling’ wautta. The puddin’ needs cook foa one an’ a arf hours, but keep checkin’ that pan doesn’t boil dry oa else you’ll be in the shit.

Just befoa you serves the puddin’ gentli ‘eat the remainin’ foa spoonz of jam an’ poa ova, lettin’ it drip awl daan the side suggestively. This puddin’ will definitely get yoa birds silicones awt slappin’ an’ bappin’ in yoa boat race.