Essential ingredienz from awl ova the world

 I will awlways need to add to this list as an when I find moa.

Becawse I 'ave traveled awl ova the world I've able to source Top Draw produce, directly sourced from mi mates oo live in far cornas of the globe. I caan't giv you awl of the names becawse some of 'em need to keep a low profile on account of them bein' sought by local afforitees foa misterminas, peepul smugglin', tax evasion an' graand feft auto.

The worlds best food suppliers                                                                                                                                                         

Jimmi Chink, for products chinese…….……………………………Bangkok

Momo Cackrabaahti, any wet or Mediterranean fish..….............…Bolton

Jose da Souza, Indian spices…………………………………….......Goa

Jonnty the Pig, pork, bacon and ham..………………………………Essex

Cowards, a variety of prime sausages………………………………Clitheroe

The Doc, beer and wine, The Royal Oak……………………………Wigan

Chadwicks, fuck awl…………………………………………………...Staandish

Phillippe Goldstein, Swiss chard, choclit and Rolexes………………Geneva

Harry the Rat, cigs, booze and Viagra……………….………………Mobile

Louis Fernaud, proppa bread………………………….……………..Befnal Green

Fabrice an' Papou Demery, Provencal Produce..................................Le Paradou

Za Za Lulaa, fuck awl...........................................................................Bouches de Rhone
Piri Pi'l, french pizza ingedienz.............................................................St. Gengoux

Jackie Trotta, jellied eels.....................................................................Eel Pie Island

Corrado Fiorentini, paasta, foa orders especes ova 2 milles.............Les Baudets

Dr. Sebastien Begard, Rabbits laarge................................................St. Helene, Cotes D'Or.

Bernard et Natalie Vanerchet, Big fat Pigeons..................................Genouilly, Chalon.

Marcel Vanerchet, anyfink grown in the gardin.................................St. Martin du Tartre

Olivier Daudey-Malfondet, Charolais beef........................................Charolles, Macon
Ricky Gondinga, jerky, jabbies, roo an' walaby.................................New South Wales
Shirley Calongooly, bush tucker, personal massage..........................Darwin
Porky Mc Donald, anyfink pig.............................................................Perff, W. Australia 
Billy Bob Pigfucker, anyfink free ee can get 'is 'ands on...................Tarascon

Dodgy Don an' Swiss Philippe

I got a nice wittle triangular trade route goin' on wiv these geezas. From Swiss Phil I imports vegetables, choclit an' Ski clobba but 'ee awlso does a tasty line in damaged precision watches which liberates from some bonded warehouse in Geneva. I then unloads them wiv Dodgy Don oo shifts 'em on to daaft footbawlers an' their shag 'appy girlfriend Wags daan at the Bridge.Evribody gains an' evrifins sweet as.

Bread an' butta puddin'
This is a piece of piss to make but nevva the less is impressive foa the 'erberts in the norf in particular. If they open a tin of rice puddin' an' poa on some custard they fink that they is Gawdon fackin' Ramsee.

Usin' either good quality sliced bread oa any of those clevva Italian fruity type breads spread liberally wiv  butta then coat wiv a tangy orange marmalade. Arrange the slices in a 8 inch diameter dish wiv a depff that corresponds to yoa knob: in my case abawt 7.5 inches but onli 5 inches in yoa case: tee hee.
In a sawse pan gentli heat arf a pint of milk wiv a little shugga an' a vanilla pod. At this point it is possible to add some fruit such as currants raisons....sex..etc..etcra.
Poa the milk into the dish, place in a pre-eatid oven (mark 7) foa 25 minits then 15 minits at 5/6. It's bootiful. You can awlso drizzle creme anglais, ice cream oa even some of that femme frais when it is served at the table.

Jonty the Pig

This is Jonty the Pig, bizarlee 'ee 'as a strikin resemblance to mi fat bruvva Keef. This man produces the best poawk in the saff east. It's daan to wot 'ee feeds 'em but awlso cawse they are 'appy an' content:   awlso, becawse 'ee is shaggin' 'em aswell. His hocks are the biggest I have ever seen, they are fick, juicy an' tenda. Just like Jonty.

Pig Pea an' Bean soop 


Obviously this is based usin' Jonty's best shoulda. Just enuff fat foa flavva but lovely tenda meat.
Chop the meat into cube sizes, seer in a pan wiv sweatid onions. Add one sliced mild chilli, grainy Dijon mustard, Worscesta sawse, free cloves of garlic, black peppa, one bay leef. When the meet is seeled add one arf pint of chickin stock ('ome made of course).

As the mix is simmerin pour in the beenz. Barlotti, Cannillini, black eyed peas an anyfin that you likes in the world of beenz.

When the stew begins to ficken an the meet 'as fallin add the fresh gardin pees. Arfta too minutes the meel is ready. Serve wiv 'ome made crusty bread.
This is great foa cold nights. It warms yoa tart up plenty, just right foa enjoyin'.

The Burlington Project

Becawse you 'ave enjoyed mi recipees why don't you 'ave a look at mi uvva blog. It's abawt two blokes buildin' a very unique car but awlso gettin pissed evri night in the local Pub an' tawlkin shite. You will find it at 

www.nigeljosephparr.blogspot.com

Sit daan wiv yoa julie an enjoy.

Drawin' Tie Birds. Motalita

It's easy drawin these bird's. Try inventin' your own when you gets used to the technique.

Here is annuvva easy recipe.


Seared seabass wiv Choritzo


Now this saands like a crap combination but I tried it mi local Michelin star restaurent 'Aux Annees Vin', in Buxy, Chalon sur Soane an' it was perfect an' a reel surprise. 
Place one large fillet of bass in a red hot griddle an' sear foa too minits each side. Meanwhile, cut thin strips of Choritzo an' place on the fish, just like rows of pennies, as it's restin  in the pan foa an extra free minits. Serve wiv a simpul green salad an' a bockkle of Montagny Premier Cru. It's the dogs.

Bonne annee

I would like to take this opportunity to wish awl mi followas a prosperous noo year, good luck wiv evrifin. Awlso a special greetin' to awl mi readers in Russia. I can now offa a translated version of mi blog in the Russian language: I suspect there may be some difficulties wiv some of the stuff becawse it is writtin usin' the proppa Queens English and not that norvern Mankie dialect which proports to be the reel fing.

As a footnote, I offa a bustin' Thai curry. By now you don't need proppa measurements an' weights of ingredienz etc....you should be usin' stuff intuitively, if yoo caant yoo is probably fick an' shouldn't be in the kitchen anyway.


This is superb on cold nights, in front of a roarin' fire wiv your Julie.

In a laarge fryin' pan saute onions, chilli an' garlic. Add a finly sliced fum size of ginga then pour on harf pint of coconut milk, then simma. Peel an' cube a butternut squash: the one that looks like a giant's dick an bawls. Frow it into the pan an' continue to cook foa 20 minits. Finally, squeeze in at least the juice of a one lime plus a tablespoon of shugga. Serve wiv jasmine rice. Don't forget to add 'turmuric' to the rice, this 'elps to prevent Bowel Cancer: I ain't jokin', look at the stats on the Indian continent.

By the way I am still lookin foa a publisher to promote mi book. It would be the best recipee book on the shelf, wipin out awl those uvva pritendas!! 

Mi Julie an' her tart Dawtta.

This is annuvva in the series of 'ow to draw but I've includid a special recipee foa figs.

Figs wiv creme fraiche an Parma ham

Mi own dawtta gave mi this recipee which she inventid whilst on 'oliday  in mi mansion in Saaf Burgundy. Foa the first time in free years we 'ave 'ad a reel glut of Figs in the gardin. The very mild Spring an' wet Summer has encouraged a huge harvest. We were literally taking at least 10 fresh figs per day from the tree.We gave most away to the uvva villagers but we were still swamped wiv the fruit.
First cross-cut the figs an' open like a flowa. drip in some local honey followed by a dollup of Creme fraiche oa 'Faiselle', which is a cottage cheese made from goats milk: arrange on a smoall plate wiv the Parma Ham. Season wiv black peppa. This can be anyfink you want a starta oa a dissert. Yum, Yum