'appy Christmas to awl mi followas

This is just one off foa Crimbo. Not so much recipees as advice an loads of tips.


Top Tips
If you fink that you got 5 hours to prepare an' cook the meel in reality you will need 10, so giv yoaself loads an' loads of time.
Double check that you 'ave bought awl of the ingredients foa wot you is doin' uvvawise you'll finish up chasin' yoa arse awl day foa the missin' items.
Don't ave a drink oa a shag befoa you 'ave prepped evrifink. 
If yoa family buggas off to the pub befoa the meel make sure that they are back early so that they aint too pissed to enjoy your cookin'. There is noffin worse than a bladdered guest fawllin' in the food an' tellin' inappropriate jokes then swearin at yoa muvva.


OK. Startas. Any fish dish is tops becawse it don't fill folk up. Sea bass filits soaked in lemon juice, muscadet, chilli, black an' green peppa cawns, capers. Leave in the fridge ovanight an' garnish wiv corianda an' chopped chives.


Main Course. I prefer a gamier meet. Pheasant, duck, venison but especially goose are awl superb. There is loads of recipees awt there but consider this. Place the bird on top of vege, spuds finnli sliced, chopped onions, baby carrots etc.. the goose fat just leaks froo, faverin' evrifink. Foa the laast 15 minutes roast the bird seperate to crisp up. Bloody beltin'. It awlso means that you can sit on yoa arse foa foa hours 'avin a drink oa sex, whilst the bird cooks.


Dessert. I 'ate makin' desserts so I buys one from M an S an' tells evribody that I made it. Uvvawise I just plate up loads of diffrent cheese an crack open the Port. 
Wot evva you do, enjoy, don't panic an' good luck. I 'ope that you continue to reed mi blogs in the noo year becawse I got moa Top Ten recipees from awl ova the world. Cya soon, Nick.