Style an' groomin'.

              
The World of Nick, my view on style an’ groomin’

I'm abawt 6 foot wiv an' inside leg of 35 inches so I've awlways gotta ‘ave awl mi suits made to measure. I as ‘em ‘and made in Saville Row in Landan an’ at Nicholas Jones in Manchestta. The geeza in the norf as made mi several suits, mostly pinstripes wiv green an’ gold stripes an’ a dinna suit wiv a white silk linin’. The smutta is great quality, it’s bob on, but the trubble is that loads of Man ‘u’ players use the same tailor which is a bit ovva bawl ache. When I gets a few days off from work I usually nips ovva to Noo York an fills a couple of cases wiv Prada, Louis Vuitton an’ Gucci. The single most expensive item in mi wardrobe is a Dolce an’ Gabbana  suede jacket which cost too grand, a fackin’ fawtune, awlmost 2 days pay. Mi favrit shirt is by Vivienne Westwood; she’s a bit ovva boot nowadays but she can still design top clobba.

I shop foa shoos like a girl. I’ve got the largest collection, worf an’ absolute fortune. I’ve just bawht a wicked pair of Guccis an’ some Jimmy Choo foa when I cross dress. Wot can I say? I’m a shoo man.      

When I want to be casual I normally wears jeans an’ a tee shirt. Daan at mi local Addidas store they lets me rummage froo the vintage bin so that I can come away wiv old footbawl strips, especially them sixties West 'am kits: com’ on you ‘ammers’. Awl that old gear is the best, big baggy tracksuits wiv hoods, the free stripes on the arm, really smoall cotton shorts that show yoa bawls an’ proppa levva boots. One time I bawht  a couple of Christian Audigier’s Ed Hardy tee shirts. It was mi bird who made mi buy ‘em but the’re a bit glittery so I left ‘em in the wardrobe wiv the tags still on.

I likes a lot of jewelry. My 25 carat gold Gucci necklace kept turnin’ mi neck green an’bangin’ mi bird in the gob when we were at it so I‘ve ‘ad to get rid an’ replaced it wiv diamond encrusted choaka. I’ve got moa rings than Jupiter: when I go to India I especially buy Sapphires an’ emeralds; the’re not as common as diamonds so you don’t look as if you’ve bawht ‘em from Ratners. I’ve got a Tag Heuer Carrera foa everi day wear but awlso I’ve got a Franck Muller, an’ Omega Astronaut, Christian Dior Juins Les Pins an’ a big fuck off platinum Rolex. I loves mi watches.

A car is the ultimate accessory foa a man. You can tell the type of bloke by the car he drives. Awl them footballers ‘ave got them baby Bentleys, old city types use Rollas, reps ave got to ‘ave Mondeos an’ fackin’ Vectras, successful drug dealers ‘ave blacked out Hummers, but skanky street dealers ‘ave convertible 3 series BMs. My day car is 300SL Merc estate which enables me to accommodate of mi on goin’ swag but at weekends I drives my Pagani Zonda. That’s claas.

But, these are the best tips. I awlways buys two of everifing. To awlways look pristine you must ‘ave a back up garment in yoa wardrobe. If you wants to pull a bird nevva put on somefink that you ‘ave worn before. The girl will fink that you are cheap scrubba if you don’t pitch up in a new outfit. There’s noffink worse than smellin’ like a wet ‘orse so use a proppa deodorant, moisturiser an’ make sure yoa barfroom cabinet is full of genuine arftashaves; Paco Rabanne, Hugo Boss, Burberry an’ Nob by Beckham.