Dodgy Don an' Swiss Philippe

I got a nice wittle triangular trade route goin' on wiv these geezas. From Swiss Phil I imports vegetables, choclit an' Ski clobba but 'ee awlso does a tasty line in damaged precision watches which liberates from some bonded warehouse in Geneva. I then unloads them wiv Dodgy Don oo shifts 'em on to daaft footbawlers an' their shag 'appy girlfriend Wags daan at the Bridge.Evribody gains an' evrifins sweet as.

Bread an' butta puddin'
This is a piece of piss to make but nevva the less is impressive foa the 'erberts in the norf in particular. If they open a tin of rice puddin' an' poa on some custard they fink that they is Gawdon fackin' Ramsee.

Usin' either good quality sliced bread oa any of those clevva Italian fruity type breads spread liberally wiv  butta then coat wiv a tangy orange marmalade. Arrange the slices in a 8 inch diameter dish wiv a depff that corresponds to yoa knob: in my case abawt 7.5 inches but onli 5 inches in yoa case: tee hee.
In a sawse pan gentli heat arf a pint of milk wiv a little shugga an' a vanilla pod. At this point it is possible to add some fruit such as currants raisons....sex..etc..etcra.
Poa the milk into the dish, place in a pre-eatid oven (mark 7) foa 25 minits then 15 minits at 5/6. It's bootiful. You can awlso drizzle creme anglais, ice cream oa even some of that femme frais when it is served at the table.

Jonty the Pig

This is Jonty the Pig, bizarlee 'ee 'as a strikin resemblance to mi fat bruvva Keef. This man produces the best poawk in the saff east. It's daan to wot 'ee feeds 'em but awlso cawse they are 'appy an' content:   awlso, becawse 'ee is shaggin' 'em aswell. His hocks are the biggest I have ever seen, they are fick, juicy an' tenda. Just like Jonty.

Pig Pea an' Bean soop 


Obviously this is based usin' Jonty's best shoulda. Just enuff fat foa flavva but lovely tenda meat.
Chop the meat into cube sizes, seer in a pan wiv sweatid onions. Add one sliced mild chilli, grainy Dijon mustard, Worscesta sawse, free cloves of garlic, black peppa, one bay leef. When the meet is seeled add one arf pint of chickin stock ('ome made of course).

As the mix is simmerin pour in the beenz. Barlotti, Cannillini, black eyed peas an anyfin that you likes in the world of beenz.

When the stew begins to ficken an the meet 'as fallin add the fresh gardin pees. Arfta too minutes the meel is ready. Serve wiv 'ome made crusty bread.
This is great foa cold nights. It warms yoa tart up plenty, just right foa enjoyin'.

The Burlington Project

Becawse you 'ave enjoyed mi recipees why don't you 'ave a look at mi uvva blog. It's abawt two blokes buildin' a very unique car but awlso gettin pissed evri night in the local Pub an' tawlkin shite. You will find it at 

www.nigeljosephparr.blogspot.com

Sit daan wiv yoa julie an enjoy.

Drawin' Tie Birds. Motalita

It's easy drawin these bird's. Try inventin' your own when you gets used to the technique.

Here is annuvva easy recipe.


Seared seabass wiv Choritzo


Now this saands like a crap combination but I tried it mi local Michelin star restaurent 'Aux Annees Vin', in Buxy, Chalon sur Soane an' it was perfect an' a reel surprise. 
Place one large fillet of bass in a red hot griddle an' sear foa too minits each side. Meanwhile, cut thin strips of Choritzo an' place on the fish, just like rows of pennies, as it's restin  in the pan foa an extra free minits. Serve wiv a simpul green salad an' a bockkle of Montagny Premier Cru. It's the dogs.

Bonne annee

I would like to take this opportunity to wish awl mi followas a prosperous noo year, good luck wiv evrifin. Awlso a special greetin' to awl mi readers in Russia. I can now offa a translated version of mi blog in the Russian language: I suspect there may be some difficulties wiv some of the stuff becawse it is writtin usin' the proppa Queens English and not that norvern Mankie dialect which proports to be the reel fing.

As a footnote, I offa a bustin' Thai curry. By now you don't need proppa measurements an' weights of ingredienz etc....you should be usin' stuff intuitively, if yoo caant yoo is probably fick an' shouldn't be in the kitchen anyway.


This is superb on cold nights, in front of a roarin' fire wiv your Julie.

In a laarge fryin' pan saute onions, chilli an' garlic. Add a finly sliced fum size of ginga then pour on harf pint of coconut milk, then simma. Peel an' cube a butternut squash: the one that looks like a giant's dick an bawls. Frow it into the pan an' continue to cook foa 20 minits. Finally, squeeze in at least the juice of a one lime plus a tablespoon of shugga. Serve wiv jasmine rice. Don't forget to add 'turmuric' to the rice, this 'elps to prevent Bowel Cancer: I ain't jokin', look at the stats on the Indian continent.

By the way I am still lookin foa a publisher to promote mi book. It would be the best recipee book on the shelf, wipin out awl those uvva pritendas!! 

Mi Julie an' her tart Dawtta.

This is annuvva in the series of 'ow to draw but I've includid a special recipee foa figs.

Figs wiv creme fraiche an Parma ham

Mi own dawtta gave mi this recipee which she inventid whilst on 'oliday  in mi mansion in Saaf Burgundy. Foa the first time in free years we 'ave 'ad a reel glut of Figs in the gardin. The very mild Spring an' wet Summer has encouraged a huge harvest. We were literally taking at least 10 fresh figs per day from the tree.We gave most away to the uvva villagers but we were still swamped wiv the fruit.
First cross-cut the figs an' open like a flowa. drip in some local honey followed by a dollup of Creme fraiche oa 'Faiselle', which is a cottage cheese made from goats milk: arrange on a smoall plate wiv the Parma Ham. Season wiv black peppa. This can be anyfink you want a starta oa a dissert. Yum, Yum

The best eva bunny dish

 

Rabbit with Bananas (Zimbabwe) 

This combination sounds a bit strange but the sweetness of the froot really does compliment the rabbit. You can use chickin if you wants if you don’t like the fort of eatin’ yoa child’s pet but it doesn’t ‘ave the erffiness oa texture of rabbit.

Ingredienz

Imperial                                                           Metric

Free Cox’s appuls peeled, cored an’ sliced    3 Cox’s apples peeled, cored and sliced

One to too ounzes of butta                              25/50grms of butter

Too an’ a quawtta paands of rabbit, jointid    1kg of rabbit, jointed

Too onions finely cut                                      2 onions finely cut

A pinch of mustard, graand ginja                   A pinch of mustard, ground ginger

A pinch of cinnamon, curry powda                A pinch of cinnamon, curry powder.

A dash of brandy                                             25ml of brandy

Arf a pint of chickin stock                              300ml of chicken stock

Five fluid ounzes of double creem                  150ml of double cream

Too bananas                                                     2 bananas

Sawlt an’ milled black peppa                          Salt and freshly milled black pepper

Foa the caramelised appul garnish

Foa ounzes of white shugga                            100grms of white sugar

Too fluid ounzes of wautta                              50ml of water

Too eatin’ appuls peeled, cored sliced             2 eating apples peeled, cored, sliced 

Put the Cox’s in a pan wiv one ounz of butta, covva an’ cook until soft. Place to one side. To make the caramelised appul garnish: place the shugga an’ wautta in a ‘eavy duty pan an’ ‘eat to dissolve the shugga. Bring to the boil an’ continue to cook, wivout stirrin’, until the liquid caramelises. It is important not to let it burn like mi norvern bird does awl the time. Cut the appuls into eight slices an’ carefully dip ‘em into the mixture covverin’ each slice wiv the caramel; then place ‘em on wire tray to cool an’ set.

In a laarge fryin’ pan melt a wittle butta, place in the jointed rabbit an braan foa five minits. Lower the ‘eat add the onions an’ cook foa free minits. Stir in the spices foa anuvva free minits, poa on the brandy an’ flame. When the flames ‘ave settled daan add the chickin stock an’ appul puree, simma foa twenty minits until the sawse ‘as reduced an’ fickened. Stir in the creem, slice an’ add the bananas, season to taste. Serve the dish wiv the caramelised appul slices.

There is enuff foa foa people, so you could eva ‘ave yoa mate an’ his bird around an’ do swopsis arfta oa just watch ‘em ‘ave it.