Candy of Vallebregues

After the sale of the 'unwanted' at the Sunday market I was virtually ready to transport myself and the 'precious' norf to saaf Burgundy. Eddie remained in the old house to mop up the remainin' sales of  the surplus furniture. Much of this would find it's way to the American lady, 'Candy of Vallebregues' who was desperate to supplement the sparse villa that she was rentin' as well as feebly negotiating her recent divorce from her 'selfish' French husband. She had been married for 12 years to a Burgundian wine buyer. Living in Dijon as the business grew she had become increasingly pissed off wiv the role of 'stay at home' housewife: so much so, as his life prospered, her's shrank.
Eddie, gratefully unloaded beds, tables, chairs and cupboards, at a very concessionary price; fixed up shelves, built and painted walls, awlso makin' sure that doors fitted properly. His meals count doubled, he spent less time in Tarascon more  in Vallebregues. Awl to no avail. Candy disappeared in the evening on a regular basis whilst Eddie babysat her two difficult children. She would return in the early hours wiv the simple explanation that she had been 'comforting an old friend': someone should write a song about that. For the first time, Eddie had misjudged a situation, misread the signals, he had been well and truly tuttled.
He had laboured on for the few weeks that I had been away, but I quickly realised that I had returned to a confused, dispirited Eddie. He needed cheering up.

Poires vapour aux Cidre.
This is traditionally a heavenly dessert dish from Normandy: they produce wonderfully sweet pears and their 'cider' is world famous, particularly the marque 'Escuisson'. Anyway, peel the pears, any sweet variety, leaving in the stawks. In a pan gentli simma arf a bottle of cider, arf a pint of water, 2 cloves, a stick of cinnamon, drop in the pears until they is tenda. Heat the oven to 180, cut the pears in arf an' place face daan on a bakin' tray. Sprinkle wiv braan shugga an' toast. They can be served wiv any sort of creme, light to fick, ice cream oa creme anglais, proppa custard oa even choclit sawse.
Eddie's humour had returned so much so that he felt that Candy should be immediately dipped in the 'celebrity shit bucket' along wiv 'Saint fackin' Bono', Sir Bob an' tree huggin' Sting. I agreed.