Career choice

• "Neets". This is a government description, principally referring to 16 to 25 year old male and female yooffs as, “Persons who are not in employment, education or training” The prediction is that this percentage will grow ova the years becawse immigrant workers are betta prepared to accept the job offas that the “neets” refuse. Wivvin this group there is a 'igh percentage of drug an' alcohol abusers, single parents, benefit fraudsters an' soap dodgers. Worse still none of these peepul can even boil a fackin' egg. 
• Moa recently they 'ave taken to the streets in protest at not 'avin anyfin. Naturally their response was to target awl the up market stores in the UK, smash the windas an' just take wot they want. Knock seven shades of shit awt of any one who got in their way, burn buildins' daan becawse they were cold, frow bricks an' concreete at the plod becawse they were asleep in their tranny vans, after which they videod awl of their antics foa fackin' yooootube an' twatter.Ofcorse awl the lazee, corrupt, fascist MPs were up in arms blamin' everi facker but themseleves claimin' that this "minority, disfunctional section of feral yoof aint representatif of Britain as a 'hole". "It 'as been the fawlt of previous goverments, lack of parental support, poor education, lack of local community buildin's, immigration policy, no moa free fackin' milk, mi granni's nick mi stash, mi trainers is too monffs old....etc..etc...It's awl bollocks becawse as a nation we 'ave encouraged the academically gifted at the expense of vocational opportunitees foa the fick sods who could 'ave been the next generation of joiners, brickies, plumbers. Awl respected trades that 'ave been neglectid foa firty years. Reep as you shall sow, sayeth the lawd.
• There are radical ways to solve this problem of free generations of thieving robbing parasitic spongers an' that is to cut any anti social male yoofs knackers off wiv a rusty saw an' charge a baby tax on any slapper oo 'as a child befoa the age of foateen. But I don't fink that it would pass European law oa slip under the radar of the green welly brigade.Mind you,I fink that I may 'fly this particular kite' during next weeks noosnight just to test the wautta.
• Anyway I shall put this right by teechin' these disaffected yooves 'ow to boil an egg. Take one egg awt of the box. Boil wautta in a pan, place the egg in the wautta foa too minits foa soft an' free foa 'ard. Now then, evin norveners can do that.